Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{July 16, 2009}   Spin Cycle: Routines

Can you believe it? Two participant posts in one week!!! First it was Random Tuesday and now The Spin Cycle! I am so awesome!!!

Well, Jen decided that she was curious to find out what it is that makes our lives revolve so awesomely (is that even a word?!?!) and organized. Yes, she wanted to know about our routines…isn’t she clever for trying to figure out how we manage all the insanities of our lives?

Well, all I can say is that in my house – everything is a routine but does not necessarily mean that they are effective.

My favorite routine though would have to be the newly acquired one of bathing the children. Yeap! Six kids equals lots and lots of water and high water bills. (Last month it was at $243!!!! But in my defense, the washer machine was broken)

We have decided (and by we  I mean me because my husband does not enjoy bath time duty….read on, you’ll know why) that in an effort to save time and water (I don’t know if the latter is true) I group them up  like this:

Sneaky Monkey and Angel Eyes first
* I battle with Sneaky Monkey to get the water on his head
* Angel Eyes flaps his hands like he is attempting to take flight as I wash him
* Try to gain my composure as Sneaky Monkey grabs his junk, pulls it as far as he can and screams “volcano!”
* Attempt to convince Sneaky Monkey that it is time to clean the volcano (he’s not circumcised, too expensive when he was born, sorry! I’ll tell him he was lucky that his older brothers had infections and theirs had to be trimmed – you think that he will understand that?)
* Scrub boys down with shampoo and conditioner
* Fight for control of the shower head hose from Angel Eyes
* Rinse them off and dry them
* Proceed to chase them around the house to get their diapers and clothes on
* Walk away from Angel Eyes as he continues to remove his shirt. He’s a lost cause on this – I give up at just putting it on the first time. If he’s cold, he’s on his own.

Next in line is Baby Boy – this boy hates the water!!!!! I mean hates it like Sacha Baron Cohen hates making movies that actually make sense and have a plot. I honestly have to get in the bath tub because he will climb on me, scream, bite, and shake – he kinda reminds me of Steve when I give him a bath (note to self: Steve needs a bath, he is starting to smell!) Needless to say I come out as if I took a shower with him with all my clothes. Funny though, after the whole wrestling match and count out and jumping around the tub claiming my glory – he looks up at me and says (with tears in his eyes) “Okay?!?” and when I say okay back, he smiles and claps and says “did it”

Next comes Little Man – this boy does not mind the water, just hates the soap. Literally! I have to coax him into getting in the bathtub. The routine goes like this:

Me: Little Man, you stink – go take a shower

LM: Okay, but no soap okay?

Me: Yes soap, you stink and your skin will come off if you don’t

LM: My skin?!?! NOOOOO!!!! But no soap okay?

Me: Yes soap – on your body – you smell!!

LM: Okay but only to here (points to his neck) not on my hair and face

Me: Fine but your head is going to grow trees if you don’t wash it

LM: Okay, soap to here (again pointing to his neck) and that’s it

Then I proceed to let him wash “to here” and then when it nears the end, grab the hose and scrub his head while he screams and fights and cries. (I know, I am so horrible but if you knew how smelly he gets after a few days of not washing his hair, you would fight too – sensory issues suck – I’m just sayin)

Now, if only I can get him to wear underwear and stop going commando we’d be in business.

Then of course is the Princess. I just have to tell her to go take a shower and we are all good. The only challenge – making sure she washes out all the shampoo. If she doesn’t, I place her back into the tub, get the hose and scrub her head until it is clear of bubbles. The rest, she takes care of on her own.

But of course, last but not least, Tiny Dancer. I typically shower with her because I hate those stupid baby tubs – they always spill every where. She laughs at the shower water and giggles while I try and make sure she doesn’t slip out of my arms (babies need to come with some grip pads or somethin’). I dry her off, lather her with baby lotion and dress her up in her cutie onesies and we’re good to go!

So there you have it – the bath time routine that causes me to need this escape because this on a daily basis is not easy – especially if you count in the times that I have to do interim washes because of rambunctious peniis or pudding laced diapers.

So what is your routine? Let us know what it is that you do to keep your life going? Join in on the Spin Cycle!

(Note to Shangrila – I just had to use that reference! It is the best explanation of “accidents” that I can remember – you are the best!!)

(Note to readers: if you don’t know who Shangrilais – you have to check her out at My Bella Figlia – she is all kinds of awesome!)

Oh, seriously, my head spins when reading this! I can barely control it with Sprite! She’s not much for soap, but I did buy the Johnsons baby bubble bath which she actually DOES like and just have to battle for the hair issues. Drying her hair after? Innocent bystanders would think I’m scalping her.
I bow down to you! You’re linked!

And this is an every day routine? No wonder your husband is heading for the hills. Holy cow. Luckily for me I only have to bathe two, the girls take care of themselves. But even so, I’m not volunteering for that duty on a daily basis unless they’re covered in filth, otherwise they can manage every other day with a wipe down and a comb. I’m all about cutting corners. 😉

Jenni says:

volcano! hahahah!

Stopping by from Spin Cycle.

This is way too funny. I can just see how they struggle to get their baths in. I only had one sister who was 5 years older than I so I took all my baths by myself. I must admit that I still love to take baths.

Great spin.

Holy cows, that’s a struggle. Just get a pool and fill it with bubbles, I say. Then hose them down after. Whew, I’m tired just reading this.

Please say you make your husband do something equally hazardous to make up for skipping out?

Shangrila says:

Oh my Jesus! I admit, I still toss the boys into the tub together-and I had to smile when I read that you take the baby into the shower with you. I’ve always let the youngest at the time take a bath with me (I cut them of at age 5-lol!) But to shower with the baby?! That’s mad skillz! 🙂

Thanks so much for the linky love, pal! Here’s hoping that someday our lives will be pee-free! You rock!

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