Mommy’s Escape 6.0

I know I am early on this but I wanted to get this in while my creative juices were still flowing. By tonight they might be frozen since my hot water heater busted – good times I swear!! LOL

Well this week Jen at Sprite’s Keeper brought up a topic that just makes me all mushy and gushy!!! Don’t worry, it won’t get on you – well if you squeeze too hard it just might so be careful okay?

What is it you may ask? Well, if you read the header of this post you would know that it is about friendship. Good one Jen!!!

You see, there are different forms of friendships and different types of friends.

Back before I was married, I had so many “friends” that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wasn’t the popular girl but my school was so small that the grades all mingled together – there was no seperation fo Freshmen, Juniors, etc. We were all one big group. This was AWESOME!!!

But when life came calling – they were not there anymore – real friends huh?

But I found this awesome thing called the internet for support when my kids were diagnosed and found my best friend in the world. She is a mom just like me with kids with special needs. We have never met as she lives in Michigan and I live way down South in Florida. But we talk every week via text, email or phone. Whenever there is something wrong, we run to eachother. This has been going on for over 5 years and I can honestly say that she is more than a friend, she is like a sister.

There are also alot of other great people that I have met on-line. That includes YOU!!! Yes you, you know who you are. (If you don’t, just look at my blog roll – if you’re on there I consider you a dear friend) I know you can wipe the tears up off the floor now, you are soaking the carpet.

Since you all practically knwo eacother, I am going to introduce you all to two of my dearest friends that I met on-line that you guys do not know.

One of them is Stu – if you are on Facebook – you have prolly seen me and him comment back and forth. He is probably the sweetest and awesome guy that you can ever meet. Even though his appearance would make most people run the other way……
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he really is a big teddy bear with a giant heart to share. (Isn’t he cute too?!?! Sorry – he’s taken)

We didn’t meet under the most common of circumstances. It was actually on MySpace and I found him through a mutual friend when I discovered that his grandson had suffered a horrible experience.
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He was shaken and abused by his mothers boyfriend as a baby. I am not going to go into the details of what and how. You can check out his MySpace page here and his FaceBook page here and see the information yourself. All I know is that this man is always the front runner for his grandson, his wife, and his family as a whole. He has even taken Alex’s father in as his own and loves him dearly. Aside from the hard stuff – he is really funny, crazy and knows just what to say whenever I am down. He is just the best person in the world to be around.

The other person I met through Stu – her name is Lori. You all have heard about her when after TD was born, I found out that her nephew who was born just a few days later was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Luckily now he is doing very well and out of the woods. Image and video hosting by TinyPic

She is a crazy woman with an awesome little guy Trev
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who she fights tooth and nail for as well as children in unfortunate circumstances. She is always by my side and along with Stu – finds crazy ways to make me smile and laugh.

If it weren’t for these awesome people – I would not have been able to see that through such tragedy, there is light, love, and hope. Everyone should have a Stu and a Lori in their lives. If not for friendship and kindness – they would probably make the best drinking buddies ever!!!

I love you Stu & Lori!!!! MUAH!!!!

This is for Braveheart – Stu’s grandson – please remember to love your kids and know that they are as precious as gold!!!
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{July 28, 2009}   So random my brain hurts!


Angel Eyes is scheduled for an XRay on Friday – he can’t eat or drink anything for six hours before the procedure

Luckily the appointment is at 9:30am

Unfortunately he wakes up at 6:00am

Did I mention he screams “MILK!!!” from his room when he does wake up?

And the fact that he will claw fight Sneaky Monkey for his bottle if he drinks his own bottle before Sneaky Monkey finishes his?

Pray for my sanity please?

Told hubs yesterday that he needs to lose some weight

He thought I was saying he looked bad and I was not attracted to him

I told him it was because of his health

He believed me

He is looking to see how much it would cost to get a treadmill

Now I am looking to see where in the hell it would fit in my house

Apparently Baby Boy has thought it would be nice to start taking his diaper off too

He has no bladder control yet

Bolt so totally needs to be snipped

I think the lady at the grocery store thinks I have some sort of OCD

I wonder what the stock boy says when he has to go and refill the spaghetti baby food jars

and ONLY the spaghetti food jars

yeah, Angel Eyes is that picky

Little Man was upset this morning because Princess would not play with him

Hubs told him he can play the Wii

Little Man went up to Princess and gotthisclosetoherface and said “YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH ME YOU MORON”

Good times

There is a sales meeting going on right now

There is disco music blasting through the walls from said sales meeting

This is supposed to encourage agents to go to the meeting

It would send me running the other way

Oh and before I forget – to all who didn’t see on FB yesterday


So do have random thoughts polluting your brain? Do you need to find a way to get them out because you dont’ have one of those floating memory disks like Dumbledore has? Well, give RTT a shot – stop by Keely’s and check more RTT and jump in – you might get some slime on you but I am sure it comes off.


{July 27, 2009}   Trying something

Hey peoples – well, remember earlier last week I had a gripe about the whole job situation? (I so totally wrote jib instead of job, luckily I caught it! Screw you spell check!!)

Instead of moaning about it – I decided to do something that actually means alot to me and I have been wanting to do it for quite some time but fear and worry set in so I didn’t.

I finally took the first step to starting my non-profit and set  up a blog to track the progress of it. Once I have the blog all set up and everything where I want it, I will let you all know.

And the best part – my hubs knows about it (he still doesn’t know about this one but this is my secret, my diary, my journal so we’ll just keep it between us mkay?)

So, I figured – nobody is going to do it for me, I have to do it myself.

Wish me luck!

Okay, so I decided to give this a try.

Dear So and So...


Dear Steve,

Yeah, I know you think that you are bigger than you really are but I don’t think it is smart to bark & growl at Bolt and then run away like a chicken shit when he comes near the door. Honestly, you look like a woos and all talk no action mkay?

Tired of holding Bolt from whacking you one


Dear Princess,

Honey, I know you have your issues but can you tone it down a bit when you freak out at not being able to squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube? Remember what mommy told you? Squeeze from the bottom to the top. That’s a good girl, now go have a nervous breakdown because Bolt is chewing on your doll again.

All my love,
Hearing impaired


Dear wordpress,

You know this automatic double spacing thing really sucks. I don’t know how to get rid of it but honestly, blogs are not required t be in APA format okay?!?

The one with Carpel Tunnel


Dear Mail Man/ Lady,

Just wanted to let you know that when I put a piece of mail back in the mail box that says “Return to Sender” it does not mean to leave it there. Honestly, I have enough to deal with my own bills, I don’t need the bills for other people added to my plate.

Not addressee


Dear Boss,

Just because you are far away on the other side of the world does not mean that you can call at 4:58pm and expect me to actually stay on t he phone with you talking about how awesome your trip is and how much fun you are having. Honestly, I have my own life to get to, can you get back to your own? Thanks!

The one wanting to put you on hold until you stop talking


Dear Little Man,

I know you love your stuffed animals – they are super cute!! Especially those giant Whales and Dolphins but I think you need to reclaim your bed. That top bunk is starting to look like a shelf at a toy store.

Love always,
Me wondering how you can sleep with all that junk


Dear Hubs,

One simple thing….


I love you,
Your wife with a nose plug

I gotta say that this actually was cathartic! Thanks Kat!! Now you go at it…join in today’s Dear So and So and then follow up on others – you know you want to….just go do it….now I told you!! now!!! Okay, PLEASE? Good!

{July 23, 2009}   stuck in a rut

Okay, I know I am not the only person in this world going through some sort of a rut but I’m going to vent…because after all – isn’t that what my blog is here for?

I got this job ya know – and it royally sucks.

The only reason why I took it was because we were running low on funds and it was the only thing that came up at the time.

Mind you – it was a $6/hour pay cut – that is $1,032/ month of income that I lost – that amount is alot to a family my size and with all the needs we have.

Right now, there is no way possible that I can keep it. I need to make more money but I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

You see, I have to find another job and go on interviews which means time off from work and that means less money and the possibility that I could lose my job before I even find a new one and then I am up shits creek without a paddle.

If I don’t go out and find another job – we will get into more debt than the one we are already in and are managing very carefully as well as Angel Eyes will be forced to go to a school where they will be calling us every day to pick him up or worse, do things against him.  (You don’t want to know the stories I have heard about that place)

I know we make the choices in our lives and that is what plans our paths for the future….I get that…but why is it that a person such as me (and many others like me) who are educated, prepared, and willing to work hard and sacrifice so much don’t get what they deserve while others who could care less and don’t give a shit are offered multiple jobs and can get the luxury of doing that which is not only great but gives them all the flexibility and still have it all – yet complain because they don’t have enough time for personal things.

I am just tired of seeing the good people get shafted while those who couldn’t give a flying fuck in space get the best out of life.

Something has gotta give soon because I don’t know how longer we can survive like this – not just me and my family – but everyone out there….

{July 22, 2009}   Crack open a window would ya?

Well remember when I was hearing sounds in my house and it turned out to be the  Captain  trying to teleport but got trapped in the walls? I thought he was at it again but instead sent over his garbage because when I woke up it just smelled awful in my kitchen!

I mean it smelled humid, rancid, just all around yuck!

Usually I prefer the smell of coffee ya know?

Well any who – I found out that there was no mysterious garbage from Canada in my kitchen – it was my refrigerator. I was all WTF?!?

So I opened the door and noticed that it was not cooling properly. Yeap – a down refrigerator!  The worst that could happen to a family of children that live on milk and milk products…

I touched the gallons of milk first and those were still cold. (I smelled them just to be safe)

But I had no idea where the smell was coming from until I bent down to the next shelf and there it was – last night’s dinner left overs – fried fish and home made potato salad. BLECH!!! That stunk so bad.

It still did not answer for the not-perfectly-cold-to-keep-everything-from-spoiling temperature in the fridge so I did the next smart thing and looked in the freezer.

There it was – that thing that was causing the refrigerator not to cool and make my kitchen smell like an abandoned fish market in the middle of a Florida summer.


Yeap! Ice and frost covered the entire back wall of the freezer.

I had a mind to go all Sharon Stone Basic Instinct on it’s not-freezing ass but I couldn’t. I had children screaming and crying and whining “Mommy!! Mommy!!” and a dog barking “I need to pee! I need to poop!! Get me outta here” (I know – this is one smart Lab, he can really talk!!)

So I did the next thing…..

I woke up my husband.

Boy was he happy to get outta bed.

So I presented him the options:

1) Handle the frozen freezer and attempt to defrost it before the milk spoils and the yogurt goes bad (if the yogurt and pudding go bad in my home – let’s just say that the zombies of Resident Evil are much tamer than Angel Eyes)

2) Handle the kids & the dogs in their morning routine

Guess which one he chose……


Option #1 – such a chicken shit I swear!!!


Well I let him at it to try and unfreeze the freezer so I prepared the bottles, got the diapers, you know the drill.

Popped a bottle in Baby Boys’, Angel Eye’s, and Sneaky Monkey’s mouths and proceeded to the dog…..

yeah, that was another mess on it’s own

I guess mommy didn’t hear him well enough barking “I need to pee!!” and he did it in his crate – poor puppy I know right?

How about poor mommy who had to get on her hands and knees to clean out the crate, wash out all the chew toys all while holding the monster dog in an attempt to stop him from chewing on the stuffed animals that Princess has strategically placed on the floor at doggy-mouth reach.

As I walked passed my husband to throw out the Lysol wipes and walk the dog outside – I looked at him and smiled….

Ahhh, what a glorious morning eh?

Just so you know, the freezer was cleared out and defrosted with a handy Conair blowdryer and now we are just making sure the door stays shut so it starts to cool correctly again – keep your fingers crossed that this resolves the problem or else you will not see me around anymore because the zombies monsters evil things children and husband will have attacked me upon my return home.

{July 21, 2009}   Just Random I say! Random!!

It is Tuesday yet again and I am going to spout off what is running circles in my head today and see if maybe it can clear me out – there is too much going on up there. I swear, it is so busy up there that you could possibly hold the next Olympics because of all the track and field events, and swimming, and basketball my thoughts are doing.  Seriously, here…take a look…


* Why is it that when I tell LM to change his clothes he runs to his room and comes out wearing a new shirt and shorts definitely but they are his 4 year old brothers clothes? Does he not get it that if it takes him a while to fit his big ol head through the neck that the clothes is a bit snug?

* Why is it that when you are angry at your husband for doing something, he finds a way to be kind to you and you forget what it is that got you so angry?

*And then the next morning when things are going well he finds a way to mess it all up again?

*How is it possible for my children to walk all day on their tip-toes and yet it kills me to wear heels for just a few hours?

* How long do you think it would take for Sneaky Monkey to realize that screaming “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” repeatedly does not give me enough time to say “what?”

* Honestly, who came up with the cartoons like El Tigre or Ms. Beeor any other rendition of moronic intellect and think that it is healthy for children to watch?

* When does school start again?

* When will it be possible to actually sit down and finish reading The Secret? I mean I need to know how this law of attraction works already…mama needs some change to happen!

* Why is it that when we are the most tired and exhausted is the time that the kids want to play, scream, and just gobble up all of your attention?

* How is it possible that Angel Eyes does not get cold when he constantly takes his shirt off in a house that is 73 degrees? I mean I need a blanket when it is 75 degrees in the living room!!

* How can a baby smile so cutely that it can melt your heart and just want you to hold her all day and forget about all the worries and the stresses and the problems on your plate?

* How can Baby Boy be growing up so fast that just yesterday he started to say “spoo” (spoon) when he helped me unload the dishwasher and the ran away with it – awed at how shiny it was.

* How can a dishwasher get the dishes so clean with just a few squirts of hot water and me with all my scrubbing and grinding can’t get them half as clean?

* Was watching Cathouse lastnight on HBO – yeah, I watch that, so what – and all I could wonder was how the hell can they walk in those heels? (see reference above to my problem with heels)

* How long will it take for me to realize that there is no such thing as meditation in my house? Everytime I try to open the door to my Secret Garden a child or husband walks in asking for my assistance.

Well, I won’t bore you any longer with the insanity that is my brain and my thoughts. Go and check out others who are participating in Random Tuesday Thoughts – check it out here at Keely’s Blog!!

{July 20, 2009}   So how was your weekend?

Well, this was an interesting weekend!!!

If you count my bed nearly breaking and my potted palm in the front of the house falling over with the wonderful storms that we had interesting than yeah it was interesting!!!

You see, there were these nasty storms going on that it seemed like at any minute I would be seeing a little girl and her dog in red slippers flying by my window. Honestly it was that scary windy out there!! It also didn’t help that my mother in law – who lives let’s say – 2 blocks away – kept calling every 5 minutes asking how bad was the weather at our house and that the trees at her house were coming out of the ground.


Come on – she lives literally 2 minutes away!!! If she wanted to know how bad the weather at my house was she could just, ummmm, look out her window? LOL!!!! I can’t get mad at her though because she took Princess off of our hands on Sunday and that gave us a calming day with Little Man.

Have you ever noticed that when one child is out of the picture for the day with a grandparent, friend, etc. the others behave like Little Angels? There are no refunds on the ones causing the havoc huh? No? Thought so….ugh!!!! (Seriously – Little Man was so well behaved that I thought he was possessed by a good little child and my terror was buried under the house or something)

Sorry about that tangent – but yeah, the weather sucked, but that is what you get for living in the sunshine state right?

As far as my bed, well, let’s just say that we weren’t  folding clothes on the bed and all of a sudden we hear THUMP! and feel the bed drop about 2 inches. We didn’t stop folding clothes of course because that would just have been way too silly but when we were done folding, we were all, WTF happened to the bed?!?!

Mind you this is our 2nd bed that has broken – we had one about 8 years ago and that one broke while I was laying in it with Princess who was all of 7 days old then. We got rid of that one after a certain furniture company said that there was nothing they could do about it and it was still under warranty – yeah, I didn’t pay that bill. So finally last year we decided to buy a new bed – since sleeping on a box spring and mattress on the floor was not so ergonomically reasonable.

We went all romantic and got a modern four post bed with rails and all…you know the kind that you can hang white fabric from and be all tropical-island-getaway-like? Yeah – we even got these pretty applique’s to go on the wall that say “ALWAYS KISS ME GOODNIGHT” the best!!!

But with the THUMP and all, we were contemplating a new bed or our old arrangement of mattress and boxspring on the floor motif…that is safer than risking another THUMP or possibly CRASH when folding. right? Yeah, that is what the smart people say…..but we risked it anyway and heard a new THUMP when folding again….when are we going to learn?

Oh, and add onto it the fact that I had to give Steve a bath which is not easy because that little yapping rat is super slippery….I can say it was a very eventless weekend.

Lets see how next weekend goes – we are scheduled to paint Princess/ Little Man/ & Baby Boy’s room….this oughta be fun!!!

{July 17, 2009}   From the mouth of Babes

Today my hubs called me from the car to tell me that when he threw the wrapper of the straw out the window Little Man had this to say”

Daddy! You are not cleaning the earth! You are not recycling! You are damaging the earth!

My husband’s response:

Who teaches these kids huh?

{July 16, 2009}   Spin Cycle: Routines

Can you believe it? Two participant posts in one week!!! First it was Random Tuesday and now The Spin Cycle! I am so awesome!!!

Well, Jen decided that she was curious to find out what it is that makes our lives revolve so awesomely (is that even a word?!?!) and organized. Yes, she wanted to know about our routines…isn’t she clever for trying to figure out how we manage all the insanities of our lives?

Well, all I can say is that in my house – everything is a routine but does not necessarily mean that they are effective.

My favorite routine though would have to be the newly acquired one of bathing the children. Yeap! Six kids equals lots and lots of water and high water bills. (Last month it was at $243!!!! But in my defense, the washer machine was broken)

We have decided (and by we  I mean me because my husband does not enjoy bath time duty….read on, you’ll know why) that in an effort to save time and water (I don’t know if the latter is true) I group them up  like this:

Sneaky Monkey and Angel Eyes first
* I battle with Sneaky Monkey to get the water on his head
* Angel Eyes flaps his hands like he is attempting to take flight as I wash him
* Try to gain my composure as Sneaky Monkey grabs his junk, pulls it as far as he can and screams “volcano!”
* Attempt to convince Sneaky Monkey that it is time to clean the volcano (he’s not circumcised, too expensive when he was born, sorry! I’ll tell him he was lucky that his older brothers had infections and theirs had to be trimmed – you think that he will understand that?)
* Scrub boys down with shampoo and conditioner
* Fight for control of the shower head hose from Angel Eyes
* Rinse them off and dry them
* Proceed to chase them around the house to get their diapers and clothes on
* Walk away from Angel Eyes as he continues to remove his shirt. He’s a lost cause on this – I give up at just putting it on the first time. If he’s cold, he’s on his own.

Next in line is Baby Boy – this boy hates the water!!!!! I mean hates it like Sacha Baron Cohen hates making movies that actually make sense and have a plot. I honestly have to get in the bath tub because he will climb on me, scream, bite, and shake – he kinda reminds me of Steve when I give him a bath (note to self: Steve needs a bath, he is starting to smell!) Needless to say I come out as if I took a shower with him with all my clothes. Funny though, after the whole wrestling match and count out and jumping around the tub claiming my glory – he looks up at me and says (with tears in his eyes) “Okay?!?” and when I say okay back, he smiles and claps and says “did it”

Next comes Little Man – this boy does not mind the water, just hates the soap. Literally! I have to coax him into getting in the bathtub. The routine goes like this:

Me: Little Man, you stink – go take a shower

LM: Okay, but no soap okay?

Me: Yes soap, you stink and your skin will come off if you don’t

LM: My skin?!?! NOOOOO!!!! But no soap okay?

Me: Yes soap – on your body – you smell!!

LM: Okay but only to here (points to his neck) not on my hair and face

Me: Fine but your head is going to grow trees if you don’t wash it

LM: Okay, soap to here (again pointing to his neck) and that’s it

Then I proceed to let him wash “to here” and then when it nears the end, grab the hose and scrub his head while he screams and fights and cries. (I know, I am so horrible but if you knew how smelly he gets after a few days of not washing his hair, you would fight too – sensory issues suck – I’m just sayin)

Now, if only I can get him to wear underwear and stop going commando we’d be in business.

Then of course is the Princess. I just have to tell her to go take a shower and we are all good. The only challenge – making sure she washes out all the shampoo. If she doesn’t, I place her back into the tub, get the hose and scrub her head until it is clear of bubbles. The rest, she takes care of on her own.

But of course, last but not least, Tiny Dancer. I typically shower with her because I hate those stupid baby tubs – they always spill every where. She laughs at the shower water and giggles while I try and make sure she doesn’t slip out of my arms (babies need to come with some grip pads or somethin’). I dry her off, lather her with baby lotion and dress her up in her cutie onesies and we’re good to go!

So there you have it – the bath time routine that causes me to need this escape because this on a daily basis is not easy – especially if you count in the times that I have to do interim washes because of rambunctious peniis or pudding laced diapers.

So what is your routine? Let us know what it is that you do to keep your life going? Join in on the Spin Cycle!

(Note to Shangrila – I just had to use that reference! It is the best explanation of “accidents” that I can remember – you are the best!!)

(Note to readers: if you don’t know who Shangrilais – you have to check her out at My Bella Figlia – she is all kinds of awesome!)

et cetera