Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{March 2, 2009}   Payback is a b!tch

Hey all!!

Did you miss me much?

No? For reals?

Oh wait, that was sarcasm on your voice – okay- you’re forgiven.

Well since I am here writing this, then you know we survived. But as I wrote up there – yeah, you know in the title line – keep up you people! – we barely did.

You see, that wonderful ick that I wrote to you about before on Thursday – you know the one that had Little Man puking and peeing out of his ass – well, guess who got hit with that one on Friday?

Go on, take a guess.

No there is no prize involved in it.

You people are suckers for prizes huh? Well, you’ll get non from me – I’m the cheap kinda blogger. Wait scratch that – frugal kinda blogger (sounds better right?)

You done guessing?

Yeah, me!  I got the ick!

And not the type of ick that comes at you slowly and you are expecting it – nope, the kind that one minute your taping  up a box of drinking glasses and the next minute your running to the bathroom to propose to the toilet.

Seeing as I am a nice girl I will spare you all the gory details of just how nasty the puke fest was and how I had tasted all the food I had eaten in the past 3 days come right out of my mouth, nose and then some. I will also spare you the details of how my stomach cringed and tightened forcing me into a fetal position and crying for my binkie – yeah, I’ll be nice and spare you those details.

What I will tell you though is that this situation made the move unbareable – for my husband. You see, he didn’t understand how much in pain I was. I was sweating and pale and just awful looking. He thought I was just trying to get out of doing any manual labor.

You know because we moms are supposed to be all mighty and strong and never feel sick. Heck, he’s a MAN and when he is always ready for manual labor and heavy lifting. A small tummy ache won’t get him down! (can you note the sarcasm in my writing there much?)

Well, the day went on me trying to find the nearest hole to bury my head in and hope that it swallows me whole while my husband kept handing me boxes and bags. I was lucky that most of the kids were in school that day if not – I would have had to handle them too.

!!!!Warning!!!! Tangent Up Ahead!!!!

I swear what is it with you guys? That when you are around other men that are doing heavy lifting that you see your selves as tough and rough men that can do it all too when in fact some of  are just teddy bears that wince at the sharp pain that you get when you stub your toes against the walls? Come on dudes – you’re just guys – not fucking super powered men!

***This concludes the end of the tangent, we will now return you to your regularly scheduled blog story***

Where was I? Oh yeah, the move.

Anyways, we finally manage to get to the new place and start organizing everything. We’re rushing against time because we made it to the new place by just a hairline of a minute to get out of the house and go pick up the kids at school.

We get to the school and get the Little MonsterMan who did not have a good day at school – he decided it was best to kick his aide in the leg than to actually participate in class. Then off it was to get the other little buggers, I mean angels. They had a good day but their teacher was not ashamed to tell me she was glad that it was Friday.

Then off we went to my favorite place Targét – bought some necessities, bought some dinner and then went home.

As we tucked the kids into bed and went to eat our dinner, the bomb fell, right into my husband’s stomach!!!!


HAHAHAHAH!!! (Insert sound of evil laugh here)


Needless to say, he rolled over in bed at about 2am and apologized for not believing me about how bad it was.

Like I say, Payback is a bitch and she is my best friend.


Krystal, I’m sorry you got the “ick.” Ug, it sounded miserable. OMG, I hate puking! So I feel your pain and got a good chuckle out your “bomb” falling into your husband’s stomach comment! I live in Cleveland and everyone here has this, had it or is preparing to get it! Lovely!!!

Ooh, full of gore, guts, and runny butts! Karma better not come to my house!

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