Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{March 26, 2009}   Blame this for my absence!

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Enough said?


{March 25, 2009}   Where did he learn that from?

Yeah, Sneaky Monkey is at it again. I mean nothing bad – some of it is cute, but nothing really bad like the fuzzies or poop.

This past weekend I took him to the pool on Sunday, just me and him. You know some mommy and son quality time. This time I didn’t have any reference to my size in a bathing suit from my husband, prolly because there was this creepy old couple in the pool looking like they were doing something they shouldn’t have been, KWIM? Oh wait, TMI? Deal with it!


Sneaky Monkey didn’t want to get in at first but I sat down on the side of the pool and as he approached me we did the whole, toes first , then feet, etc. By the time he was fully in, he was loving it!  The whole entire time he was in the water he was screaming “Look me! I Swimming!” He was beaming from ear to ear! I was so proud of him. I so totally thought this would be a meltdown moment but he only freaked for the first 2 minutes, after that he was okay.

The problem was the aftermath – yeap.

We got home and since the other kids were still relaxed and sleeping so I put him in the shower with me. As we were finishing washing our hair and making sure we would sparkle when we came out, he turned to me and pointed to my rear caboose and said “Gloria!”

Now you might wonder where the title of this post fits in right?

Let’s just say that when we were at the grocery store, Little Man in his loudest voice ever possible said to me, mom, you’re fat like Gloria from Alex & Marty” (he means Madagascar)

Yeap! I wonder where Sneaky Monkey got that from huh? I swear!

Needless to say my husband laughed when he heard Sneaky Monkey say that in the shower because of course, those showers echo and I have not lived that one down.

So yes, my children are comparing me, well, I think my rear, to that of a computer animated hippo. I know I have a large rear end but not THAT big!  Gees, people tell me constantly that they do not believe I have 6 kids – maybe I should turn around and then they’ll believe me?

It is not so simple to be a kid

The light is blinding to the eyes, no matter what shade of color is illuminating from the bulb. They try light pink, blue, green, nothing. He hides his eyes and begins to rock back and forth screaming and shouting “OW! OW!”

The noise is just too much for him. He cannot tolerate the pounding and booming of the sound. They lower it and lower it but to no avail. He continues to spin and cover his ears and sing to himself to soothe out the noise.

The water is just too hard for him. He can’t stand the way that the shower head pours the water onto his skin. It feels like sandpaper and rocks thrashing his arms and legs. He shouts inaudible words and tears well up in his eyes. They try and use the bath tub spout but he will not sit or allow the soap bar to grace his body. He tries to slide away in the small space and find solace in her arms.

She looks out of the corner of her eyes trying to find someone to talk to. She moves her feet but she remains in place. She urges to speak the words to draw friends near but does not know what to say. When they approach she smiles and hugs them and talks to no end. They walk away with strange faces and she does not understand. She cries and waits for her big protector to come and rescue her and tell her it is okay.

He is a child but no longer wants to be a child. He wants to be a dinosaur and cannot understand why he cannot transform like on TV. He growls and screams and punches and fights. “I don’t want to be a boy! It is too hard! I want to be a dinosaur!” They hug him tight and tell him it will be okay.

This post is in conjunction with The Sprite Keeper‘s Spin Cycle. To see more creative writing, stories about creativity, or anything creative for that matter go visit the Spin Cycle and see what you can come up with!

{March 19, 2009}   Just good thoughts

Today I was working on my post for the Spin Cycle when I was side tracked to find out about Angel Eye’s eating habits.

Yesterday at home he did not want to eat his dinner. It was a screaming fit and tears and food were everywhere. I force fed him a few spoonfuls but gave up when he began to gag. I gave him a bottle with some cereal and let  him be. (Yes, he still drinks out of a bottle and drinks milk with cereal)

Well, this morning again he just wanted to drink his milk and nothing else.  When I picked him up from school the home note said that yesterday he did not want to eat his lunch and today he threw the food on the floor. Remember that he only eats stage 3 baby food because of his severe sensory issues.

When I dropped him off at home, my husband attempted to feed him again, the boy was having nothing of it. He did not want to eat and once again it was a screaming fight and nothing was accomplished. Again, my husband gave him a bottle of milk and cereal and sent him on his way. then my husband called me and gave me the key words “Call the doctor”.

I called his pediatrician – their response – “As long as he is drinking he is okay. Our concern is when he stops drinking. Maybe he is coming down with something – does he have any other symptoms?”

My response – “No, he is just wanting to lay down”

Their response: “Of course, that is to be expected as he is losing energy from not eating. But we think it might be mental because of the autism he has off days. Based on his chart he is within the 50% of children his age so he is fine. Just call your neurologist and see what they say and then call us back to let us know how he is doing?”

Me: WTF?!?! “I understand he is within the 50% but if you look at the child and you placed him on TV people would send me money because they would think he needs to be fed. He is THAT skinny.”

Them: “I understand but at this point since he has no other symptoms, it appears to be something mental with his autism and it is suggested that you contact the neurologist to see what he says. If he stops drinking then we have an issue because he could dehydrate quickly and begin to lose function of his organs.  But as long as he is drinking everything should be okay.”

I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere – I had heard this spiel before with countless pediatricians and so I hung up, called my husband and told him what they said. his response “Bull shit – call the neurologist.”

So I called the neurologist. I have not been there since last year because of course, those appointments are follow-ups yearly and I am due to go in this year but of course, I need a physical with the PCP to get the referral and that appointment is not until mid-April – yeah, insurance sucks!

Anywho – I called and I spoke to the nurse who was pretty much appalled by what the Doc’s office told me and asked the usual questions and told me that she was going to have either of my 2 neuros call (yeah, he is that complex that he has 2 of em!)

So now, I sit here and I wait until I get a call from the neuro – probably telling me I need to go in or if it contiues for more days that he needs to go to the hospital which there they will tell me the same thing as the pediatrician and send him on his merry way home. (Can you tell I have been through this before?)

So now, I am just thinking good thoughts because if I let the truth get inside of my head, it will eat me from the inside out.

{March 18, 2009}   you be the judge

Okay I am going to tell you a story that has me and my husband arguing back and forth (in a silly way, not an irate, angry, mean sorta way – although sometimes it can get intense!)

About six years ago we lived in the part of South Florida that is sorta like a little bit of Cuba – Mrs. Bear, you know which part I am talking about right?


I was pulling out of my apartment complex and waiting to cross the street when all of a sudden I hear a loud thump and thud on the side of my car. i put the car in park and I get out to see what happened.

When I look I see the guy who was on his bike just a second ago on my right side pulling his bike up off the floor and a huge dent in my rear passenger door.

This is where you all come in – who is at fault?

My husband says I hit the guy

I say the guy hit me.

My logic: I was already pulled out onto the driveway and he was coming towards me as I stopped. I knew he was there – who could miss that bright orange cap that should have actually been classified as a traffic cone it being so bright!  There is no way that I could have hit him with the rear passenger door side of my car. If I did it would have had to have been moving side to side like a tail but we all know cars can’t do that so duh! He hit me.

His logic: I am a distracted driver and probably didn’t notice the guy was coming and he didn’t have time to stop so he ran into my car.

* mind you, he was not in the car at the time just like you so he is going based on my story telling abilities*

Now your honors, based on the evidence presented to this bloggy court – it is my closing statement that my client, I mean me, is innocent of all charges and should therefore be exonerated and further mentions of guilt as pertains to this case by said husband should be punished to the fullest extent of the law for slander and perjury. I rest my case.

Now, what say you dear kind and illustrious and wise judges of the blogosphere?

I know not many of my readers have children with special needs but today I am dedicating my Random Tuesday Thoughts post to my children and the hardships they face with their autism. So just bare with me today mkay? Thanks!

* It is hard to see your child cry and not know what is wrong. Last night Sneaky Monkey had a very high fever when I came home. He was just laying down and so I put him in the shower to cool him down. I attended other things while he soaked but I knew he wasn’t okay. When I went to take him out to get dressed, all he was doing was crying. My mother in law was there seeing as my husband was at school and she didn’t even know how to react. He was just crying and crying, no matter what way I addressed the all important questions” Where does it hurt?” I couldn’t understand his response. I didn’t know what he was saying – the only thing I understood as I lay on the bathroom floor with my wetandunclothed 4 year old son crying was “Mommy”. I hate not understanding what he says or what he needs – I can only imagine how much he hates not being understood.

* Angel Eyes is at it again. He is hiding in corners and lining up his trains and flapping and rocking until he is discovered. He is also running the fabric of any blanket, window covering or toybox liner along his mouth turning his beautiful pouty lips to the mouth of the Joker (click here to see what I mean – yeah, that is how rubbed and burnt it is). He is covering his ears at the beginning of every program and walking on his tip toes until it hurts. And please, if you walk by his room, do not touch the trains or the trucks – he will scream louder than anyone can imagine. Oh, and if you are feeding him, make sure you wipe his face clean or else he will rub his mouth on his clothes until it is all clean of any food residue.

* Little Man is having a hard time at school once again. He just can’t seem to make it through the day without a blow-out. He is trying, he really is but the sound of a particular student’s voice irritates him; too many options at music send him over the edge; the stillness of FCAT testing makes him boil inside. He would just rather lock himself in his room with his dinosaurs and never come out.

* Baby Boy is  just getting more and more frustrated. He has the words in his head and he cannot let them out. he will scream and bat at you to tell you what he wants but we cannot guess for him anymore – we have to force him to make the sound, just the utterance of a sound before we can give in. This breaks my heart!

* Princess is worming her way  through her classroom without her teacher. Her teacher was blessed with a new baby girl but the substitute, although nice and cooperative, still cannot understand her way of thinking. She cannot understand how Princess has to be told things in black and white – there is no grey for her. The social skills are still emerging – she has yet to understand personal space and as such pushes people away when in fact she wants to draw them near.

* I write the above to say one thing – each of our children, regardless of disability or not have difficulties. This is why it is important to make them feel good and make them know that they are okay, just the way that they are. If it weren’t for one dear friend by the name of Melissa and a new friend by the name of Kyra, some children might not know just how special they are.

Please join us in getting the word around for The Tie Dye Project. Pass it along to whoever you know that has a child with autism, PDD-NOS or aspergers. You can even pass the word around for people to be sponsors – just because you do not have a child with autism or know children with autism, it does not mean that you cannot be a part of this great event.

Here is the flyer that we are giving out to parents: tie_dye-parents2

Please, pass the word along – this will make a difference to many children who need to know that being different is special; that being different is okay.

As you all can imagine how crazy things have been the past 2 weeks.

Since we moved I have not stopped at the new house and here at work, well, it has been non-stop!

I’m not going to speak ill of people, you know that I do not like to do that sort of thing but…

These people in my corporate office are a bunch of morons! Seriously. They sent out 10-day demand letters to people that did not even deserve to get them. Most of these people are on direct debit and the charges on their accounts are automatically deducted from their accounts.

They had late charges adding up to $200!!!! Hello?!?!? How can they have late charges if they are automatically deducted? Oh yeah, maybe because the techno geek sitting at the computer forgot to withdraw the funds at the right time and so the other techno freak assessed them late fees. I swear!

Of course since they are not physically at the location, they do not have to hear the screaming and whining that the unit owners send our way because we are here at the location and it is always our fault, even though nobody here does the actual input but we do all of the cleanup and by we, I mean ME!!!! Ugh!

Anyways, that is why I have not been on much. I have been reconciling maintenance accounts for about a quarter of the 832 units at this community. All of course with nothing but the bitching and complaining from my corporate office that I am sending up too many changes and waivers to the accounts. Well maybe if they would take their thumbs out of their noses and actually verify before they hit “submit” then maybe it wouldn’t be such a big problem huh?

Anyways, on to better things like blog stalking.

I should be up to date with all of my work by this afternoon and then I am going to be back to normal (am I an overachiever here? I think not right?)

I am also not mentally here because, well, since we moved we have had to be getting up a little earlier than before. And by a little I mean at 5:15 am versus the 6:30 am of before. Yeah – the wake up time gets earlier but for some reason the bed time does not change – well, for the adults that is. So I am overly exhausted and tired. It is a miracle that I find matching shoes in the morning!

Other than that – things are good. I took the kids to the pool yesterday – well, Princess and Little Man only. There are too many kids and only one of me – my husband would not be caught dead in the pool! LOL

It was a fun time with them. They even made me swim to them as if I was a sea monster. This was so much fun to play with them. I made them a promise that if they do good at school and at home for the week, their reward would be to go to the pool on Saturdays. Hey, how else am I going to get a tan? I live in South Florida but by the tone of my skin you would think I lived in the north and what makes it worse – I’m hispanic and you can’t even tell that by my skin tone – now that is sad huh?

Oh yeah, and yesterday I was walking Steve and guess what? I twisted my ankle when the little rat tried to dart away. LOL!! Now I am a hobbling gimp in my house but so worth it to see Princess smile and laugh when I fell on my ass. Yeah, priceless!!

So I’m gonna be snooping around your blogs so look out for me – oh, but don’t expect me to catch up immediately, there is a lot to be read so I’ll just start with the latest and work my way to the oldest okay? Yeah – love ya – buh bye!

{March 13, 2009}   A quickie

no, no not one of those, gees, get your minds out of the gutter people!!!

I am still around and hopefully next week all will be back to normal.

I have not forgotten about you and I hope you have not forgotten about me (I know some already have but hey, who cares right?)

Just know that I have received and read all of your comments and they are saved as unread in my inbox so I can reply to them and I will post some more next week as well as resume my stalking duties.

I heart you all and I hope you all have happy and safe weekends.



{March 11, 2009}   Wordful Wednesdays

Yeah, I know it is supposed to be wordless but you know what? You think I really care? Nope!

Well, I have been away for a while and I am still swimming through a sea of screw ups from my corporate office so I decided to take a quick break before I lose my sanity and post a few updates.

* Little Man’s tooth removal went horrible! I felt so bad for him. They tried to dope him up with Benadryl & laughing gas – nope, didn’t work. Poor baby felt all of the lidocaine being injected into his tiny mouth with that 4 foot needle!!! Kid was in so much pain he even got out of the papoose. And the roots on those things – wow! Needless to say, the tooth fairy gave him a whopping $5 for his troubles.

* We are fully unpacked in the new house and the kids seem to be a lot more comfortable and happy. Me on the other hand, my back is hurting from all that mopping! Who told me it was a smart idea to put laminate in the kids’ room again? Oh yeah, I did! Ugh!

* Princess has just begun to have an affinity for gymnastics since her cooking school closed down. Great! I just hope she doesn’t break her collar-bone like her cousin did.

* The boys desperately need haircuts! I wish I could find my camera to show you how bad they look. Poor baby boy looks like he is wearing a motorcycle helmet, and not the cool kind either.

* My husband thought it was a good idea to teach Princess  how to play Monopoly – but not just any Monopoly, our Star Wars Episode 1 Collectors Edition one. Yeah, can I say freak out every time she touches the cards and figures?

* The dog is doing great – very quiet and calm for a chihuahua – I know, I’m as shocked as you are. Now, if he could only learn to not eat his own poop we would be in business.

* My mother-in-laws facelift is looking a bit better now 2 week later. She still does look like a rubberband is wrapped tightly around the base of her head though. Sneaky Monkey and Angel Eyes still look at her like an alien.

* I am almost done with school. I take my spanish CLEP exam on March 31st and if everything goes well and I pass it and get the full 12 credits, I will be graduating in June along with my husband with my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management – and all it took me was 4 years! Yeah, 2.5 years my ass UoP!!! – Oh well, I will be back there for my Masters degree. Heck, it is an easy to go to school and the on-line classes are oh so convenient!

Well, gotta get back to the insanity that is my desk but before I go, I heard this song on the radio this morning and it made me think of the Captain

I hope you like it everyone! I hope this insanity blows over soon so I can stalk you all once again.

{March 10, 2009}   Update on Baby Alex

NO    MORE     CANCER!!!!!!!!!!

Check out his Aunt Lori on Facebook and let her know how happy you are to hear this…  Auntie Lori

et cetera