Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{February 6, 2009}   Cuban Mothers

I just had to share this with you all – my brother sent this to me. Nope not Heinous, my other brother, but I sure do miss Jim!


The great things my Mom taught me:

My mother taught me about RELIGION –
“Pídele a Dios que yo no te agarre.”
(Pray to God that I don’t get you!)

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION –
“Deja que lleguemos a la casa, coño!”
(Just wait until we get home damnit!)

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS –
“Mal-agradecido, cuando yo era chiquita no tenía nada!”
(You unappreciative brat, when I was a little girl I had nothing!)

My mother taught me about LOGIC –
“Cómo que por qué? Porque Si!”
(What do you mean Why? Because Yes!! – American Version: Because I said so!)

My mother taught me about INSPIRATION-
“Si llegas con malas notas te voy a hacer comer la chancleta”
(If you get bad grades I am going to make you eat the sandal!)

My Mother taught me about WISDOM-
“Tú crees que te lo sabes todo y no sabes ni limpiarte el culo!”
(You think you know it all but you do not even know how to wipe your own ass!)

My Mother taught me about CONFUSION –
“Me cago en la Madre que te parió!”
(I’ll shit on the woman who gave birth to you! – American version: You little mother fucker!)
(Wait, isn’t that her?)

Que vivan las Madres Cubanas!!!
(Long Live the Cuban Mothers!!!!!)

I have to say, as a child of a Cuban mother and a  Cuban mother myself, these are words that are heard all too often in the life of a child of Cuban decent. Now you can all see why we are all so screwed up!!! LOL


captaindumbass says:

Your mom scares me.

Ha! John’s mother is Dominican and used to throw her shoe across the room!

Heather says:

Haaa…love her Wisdom!!!

mrsbear says:

All too familiar. 😉

colepack says:

that is a riot!

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