Mommy’s Escape 6.0











{February 27, 2009}   Out of blog reply

Hello everyone – this is my out of blog reply. I will be out of the blogoshpere today, Friday February 27th and will not return until hopefully Monday, March 2nd.

I will be moving and if all goes well, we will be in our new home and away from the heck that is our current location.

Please feel free to browse around the archives or enjoy this little video:

These are some movers I would love to do my move – they are just so fun!

Advertisements


{February 26, 2009}   The innocence of children

You know that feeling you get in your chest when something drastic or shocking has just happened in front of your eyes and you are shaken up by it and your heart races, your hands shake and you are on the verge of tears and then the water works start once you are on your own?

You do? Good – then you will know how I felt this morning after I dropped Princess off at school.

Little Man has not been feeling well since last night. His asthma is kicking him really hard in the ass so much that it is causing him to puke when he coughs and now he cannot keep food down either; needless to say, he stayed home this morning. Actually everyone stayed home except for Princess because she had an in-school field trip that involved some safari people and insects – she did not want to miss that (and I did not want to lose $6.50 – hey, it’s the principal of the thing okay?)

Anywho – so I dropped off Princess at school and did the usual, walked her to the gate right before the second bell rang and they closed it. I kissed her goodbye and started for the parking lot. I was just going to call in Little Man’s absence but decided to go into the office and just write his teacher a note so that she can give Princess his work so that he does not miss it.

At that time, one of the moms of one of the kids in the upper level EBD class (Little Man is in the lower level just in case oh, and EBD means Emotional/ Behavioral Disorder) was watching her son as he walked with his class towards his classroom. then she did what all moms do, went to her car and left.

As I walked out of the office I went towards the parking lot where my car was and started calling the teacher for Sneaky Monkey and Angel Eyes to let them know they were going to be absent.

Coming from my left, all I hear is a child screaming “Mommy WAIT! Mommy nooooo” and I look and I see the child running towards me – well towards the street actually – I knew who it was – it was that kid whose mom had just left. He kept running and stopped at the sidewalk jsut next to me. I dropped my phone and started talking to him – he didn’t hear me. 

Mind you, I was the only adult around seeing as the gates had been closed and the teachers were inside. The only person outside was the Spanish teacher and he was helping a disabled child get out of the car so I doubt it that he noticed.

I thought the kid was going to stay put until he started for the street again and there I was, saying to myself WTF?!?! and ran after him. We stopped short of the street by about 2 feet and all I could do was just hug him tight. He was crying and screaming for his mother. My heart was breaking for him and I began to cry too.  All he kept saying was “Please let me go, Mommy stop!!! Mommy come!! Mommy noooo, Please let me go” All I could say to him was “shhh, just breathe, its okay”, as I just hugged him – he didn’t fight me at all he just let me hold him.

At that time, the Spanish teacher was running to me and we both took the boy and started walking towards the school while he continued to cry and beg for his mother. The Assistant Principal met up with us about half way and took him from there.

My heart had sank so deep I didn’t know where it landed. The Spanish Teacher told me that I reacted very quickly, that he saw me sprint and luckily I caught the kid. I told him it was from many times of experience with Little Man running away.  He knows who Little Man is and agreed.

The thing that bothered me the most about this was not the fact that this child was hurting so bad inside that he wanted his mom and attempted to run after her. It is instinct on the part of the child to run to the person who he feels safe with. No, that to me was not the problem at all – I have faced it with my own child first hand.

The problem was – how did he get out? The gates leading to the outside walls of the school (It is a courtyard type school so all the buildings are little pods and there are no hallways, just connecting sidewalks so it is very open – the only thing that is supposed to keep the kids in are the gates that seal off the open areas facing the street) those gates were closed. How did he get out of his class (which is right next to the gate facing the parking lot because it is next to Little Man’s class which is in the same area) and out of the gate and into the parking lot with no adult or aide running after him?!?!? 

As we were walking him to the school again, I saw the aide lackidazically walking out of the gate toward the office.

This child could have been killed had I not been there!! What would have happened if I decided to forgo the whole note to Little Man’s teacher and just called in the absence – I would have left at the same time his mom left.

I didn’t know what to think or feel – I cried all the way to work in my car. I can still see the child running with this scared and sad look on his face screaming for his mom and feel his tears from when I held him tight.

I hope he is okay, I hope his mom is okay when she hears this happened – someone though should be held accountable for not locking the gates or not going after him within enough time. It shouldn’t take another parent and a teacher busy with another special needs student to chase after him and protect him from harm.

Honestly, I don’t know what would have happened had I not been there. I do not even want to imagine it.

Now, when you get home today, or if you are already at home (you lucky bastards) – hug your children tight, regardless of how old they are – they are still your children and they still have that innocence that leads them to want and crave their mother and father. Let them know you love them and that you will protect them at all costs. Cherish that innocence and purity, cherish them and love them, no matter what they do.



{February 25, 2009}   Soundtrack of life

Okay, have you ever had one of those moments where it seems as if everything follows a rhythm or the beat to music?

Yeah, it seems like this has been the norm for me. 

The mornings are primarily the craziest for me. Trying to get 6 kids ready to head out the door, feed a dog, get dressed myself, and fuss with my husband about the loads of garbage that need to be thrown out that morning – it’s a miracle if I can even brush my hair!! Thank Mount Olympus for pony tails!!! But as I go through the whirlwind that is my morning, one song sticks in my head – Crazy Frog Song Yeah, I see myself as a bouncing frog going all over my house chasing after these little slippery tadpoles that are known as my children!! And that large toad that is my husband – don’t even get me started on him!!!

Then the races are on to get them into the  car and all that they remind me of are little hamsters scurrying everywhere. One wants to go look at the lake, the other wants to climb in through the trunk – honestly you would think that they were little hamsters!! This song runs through my mind as I finish buckling them into their carseats and kiss my husband good bye is the Crazy Hamster Dance. You should see me bee bop my way into my car, it is a funny sight!!! LOL

As I speed off into the street that leads to the kids’s school – I have a battle with them over what song is playing on the radio. Little Man wants the Spider Man by Michael Bouble while Princess wants the Alex Song from Madagascar 2. Honestly at that moment I could care less what they want to listen to as long as they stop fighting and arguing!!! I mean come on – kids music is kids music – just get over it already!!!

Fianlly they are in the car and I am singing praises that they will be in school for the next few hours and will be someone else’s responsibility. I know, harsh but sometimes, you just want to give them away, at least as long as you get them back at the end of the day. The only thing about this part of the day is that it means that I am on my way to work. Blech!!! To me walking into work is like walking into the Death Star next to Darth Vadar – you know something bad is bound to happen.

By the time the day is over, my mind is rattled and shaking as if I had been hearing Skat music all day! I mean come on, my tiny marbles can only tolerate so much! Sounds and words all just jumble together and I don’t even know which way is up. It is a miracle that I can make it home safely.

Then of course onto the zoo that is my home. I honestly feel like a Monkey in the Jungleand I hear little Bindi Irwin singing to me while the back up dancers run around my house scaring my children.

Bath time is the worst for them, you would think that there was a Carp in the Tub. I think maybe I should have skipped that song when they heard it huh?

But finally as things must come to an end – bed time comes and it makes you realize that all of the insanity of the day is completely worth it when it means that you can snuggle next to your children and just hold them and sing them to sleep. It is this time of the day when I hold them and tell them how much I love you while I sing you a song plays in my head and my heart and I wisk them off to sleep.



{February 24, 2009}   Today is your special day

Yes Sneaky Monkey, today is your special day!

It was just 4 years ago today that I saw you for the first time. That I heard your first cries and felt your warmth.

You have grown to be such a wonderful little boy.

Your smile is so sweet and pure. The innocence behind it makes me want to be a child again.

I love to see you when you wake up and hear you say, “Good morning Mommy!” No matter what I face that day, just hearing you wish me a good morning makes it all worth it.

You have come so far these past 4 years. You have endured countless therapies and doctors appointments.

You are in a place that your father and I thought you would take longer to reach – for that, I am eternally grateful!

Even with your screaming and your yelling, I wouldn’t trade your curly cued haired head for the world!!!

You are my Sneaky Monkey and a light in my life.

I am blessed to be your mommy.

Happy 4th Birthday Sneaky Monkey! This one is for you….

I LOVE YOU!!!!



{February 20, 2009}   I am a chicken with my head cut off

Honestly people today has been a day from hell!!

I woke up super late and was rushing to get things done.

The kids were late to school but at least Little Man was able to hear his favorite song, I’m Late for School Again by Paulie Litt (how ironic huh?)

Then I rushed to work where things are not so hot. You see my receptionist was out again today and won’t be back until Tuesday. I had to do my job and hers for today which was not easy because there were alot of new leases that started and I had to process them – yeah!!

Oh, and on top of that, when I went home for lunch my husband stepped on the dog!!! Yeah, when I was walking the dog, we were coming back inside the house, my husband didn’t see the dog and stepped on him. Yeah, my husband, Mr. 6 foot tall 200 + lbs of him (yeah, he’s a big guy next to little 5 foot tall and 130 lb me) stepped on my not even 3 lb dog!!!! I almost flipped.

I dropped my cell phone and broke it into pieces but luckily i was able to put it back together – now if it works all the time is a different story.

Got into a huge fight with my husband about the stupidity of me dropping my phone and guess what? The day is still not over!!

I can only imagine what this weekend holds for me!

If any of you have faith in something other than the paperweight on your desks, please pray that I do not lose my sanity, it is about to tear away from it’s leash!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!



Okay, well, we all know how bad the economy is going right? We know that people are losing their jobs left and right and that families are finding it hard to make their way through likfe.

Many of you my bloggy friends are in these situations now and all we can do is tell you it will be okay but we don’t know when.

Well, between yesterday and today, reality has slapped me in the face really hard and guess what? It hurts like a bitch!

You see, I get respite services for my kids. To those who do not know what respite is, it is like a nanny of sorts that comes and watches the kids while the parents get to do things that they need to do or just rest and take a nap. We have had our respite worker for almost 3 years now and she has become a staple in our home. She has been there at minimum 2 times per week. She is like family to us.

Well, yesterday I get a call from her supervisor telling me that the grant that pays for the services changed their policies back in October. they misunderstood the policy to say that each diagnosis in the household is qualified to receive 120 hours per year. In our case that would be 4 kids (only the boys qualify as they have autism, PDD-NOS does not qualify and that is what Princess has – don’t ask) x 120 hours – that would make it 480 hours a year. This was great!!! Well, not so much. The call I got yesterday was to tell me that the understanding  of the changes was incorrect. Actually it was to be 120 hours per year  PER HOUSEHOLD!!!

Yeah and to make it worse is that they should have started that since October – guess how many hours I have used since October?……143!!! Yeap, you know what that means? I do not qualify for respite services until October of this year!

Now, I am not complaining about me – I am more hurt about this because of my worker. You see, she only gets paid around $12.00/hour for taking care of special needs kids – yeah, you would think she would get paid more!! And now that they are reducing the hours that services are provided to families, she does not get to work that much. Her income is affected greatly!!! And you know the worst part of it all, when I called her to talk to her yesterday because sometimes she comes over and we pay her directly on days we need extra help – she told me that she was sorry!!! What? She was sorry because she knew we needed the help and that the kids were not going to see their “MeMe” (Yes, I changed her name too) anymore. She was not even thinking about herself and the loss of income, she was thinking about me. Of course I told her I was sorry because this would reduce the pay she got and she said, Yeah, I just might have to get another job if I don’t get other families assigned to me. This broke my heart. I literally crushed under the weight of this news.

Today I got another blow by reality. As we were loading the kids in the car, one of the maintenance guys in my community came up to my husband and this is how the conversation went:

Maintenance Guy: “Excuse me sir, you own your own business right?”

Hubby: “No, I am a stay at home dad.”

Maintenance Guy: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you owned your own business and my wife lost her job and is looking for work. She can’t find anything and I thought maybe you could hire her for your business, I’m sorry.”

Hubby: “No, I’m sorry, has she checked the malls for some retail jobs? I know that ****** Mall is hiring (It is one of the largest outlet malls in the country I think ). Alot of the stores there had signs up.”

Maintenance Man: “No, she has not checked there. I will tell her to go by there because I cannot do it on my own. If she does not get a job soon, I don’t know where our family will end up. My pay here is not enough to take care of us. But thank you anyways.”

And with that, he walked away to get on with his work.

This situation is getting more dire and more difficult every day. Nobody can guarantee their paychecks anymore. Nobody knows what tomorrow will hold.

What does this mean? Some here at the community where I work are saying that they fear riots and looting. Guess, what – it already has begun – here where I work, they just don’t know it yet. Yes, people have been robbed and cars broken into for the smallest of items. And this is a prestigious community don’t get me wrong. Not at all in the wrong side of town. But things are getting tough, they are getting crazy.

I don’t know how much more we can take.

All I know is that reality throws a mean punch and can knock you down, even if you are aware of what is going on.

To all my bloggy friends, I am praying every night that we all remain where we are now and that instead of declining, things begin to improve – they just have to.



{February 18, 2009}   Did I really?

Yeah, I got onto facebook.

I know, I’m shocked too.

I guess my social life is so incomplete that I need reassurance through another social network. Also MySpace was getting kinda weird you know? Yeah.

It is funny though because I see everyone has their lastnames posted and I am like scared to post my last name.

It is weird though – I guess I am still wary of the security of it all but then I am willing to share my last name if someone requests my address to send a package. I know you stalkers here won’t hurt me (You won’t right?) But there is something so private about your last name.

I dunno, maybe I am just being stupid and a worry wort. Am I?

In this day and age where privacy doesn’t seem to exist, I guess maybe holding on to that tiny bit of information is the only thing that I can do to retain some private information.

This is also why I don’t post that many pictures of my kids – I want to retain their innocence and privacy.

But I am glad that I joined facebook – this is not supposed to be a downer post.

I am glad to continue to communicate with all of you awesome people who don’t really care about all of my lunacy and heart me just because I am me and I am a bit looney!! LOL



randomtuesday

Yeah, my mind is gone – it went all blech on me and I feel like I am floating on cloud nine but not in a lovey dovey romantic kinda way. Sort of like mid way through being on the receiving end of a conversation with my boss I shake my head and ask, wait, you were talking to me? kind of way. (Yeah, I actually did that today, luckily my boss just laughed)

What is it that guys think that Playboy is just for them? Yeah, really. This all started when my husband realized that one of the presets on my radio is the Playboy channel. Hey, they are funny, interesting, and well…hot! Yeah, I can have lady crushes too and I never hear him complain when I comment on a lady while we watch Cinemax.

Anyways, since I started listening our sex life has drastically improved so he should be praising Playboy radio for making me realize that heck, I can too be just as feisty than they are! (Yeah, we were stuck in that 7 year rut)

Yeah, you can tell that I am being more open huh? I dunno, I guess I just thought that maybe its time to just release and be me and not hold anything back. I guess maybe I learned this from the totally cool Petra. She is so cool with herself and I thought, heck, she’s a mom and a wife and she’s not afraid to show it – what the feck is wrong with me? I can be open just like the rest of them – and here you have it!! (Yeah, this goes along with my resolution to be true to myself. How am I doing so far?)

Honestly, this crap about staying here until 7pm sucks. There is no real reason for it. Instead just keep the business hours regular on Wednesdays. Heck, just because the office closes at noon doesn’t mean that we really stop working. It’s just that the little old people don’t know that we do.

My daughter is so totally grossing me out with her loose tooth. It is that top one, you know the big one of the two. Yeah, that one. And then she gets all uppity that it is going to fall off  but hen she starts crying that she doesn’t want it to fall off. Huh? Does this make sense?

Okay, the dog still has not wanted to drink water but today he finally switched back to the hard food. He stopped wanting to eat that Prescription food from the vet and so I decided to see if adding a bit of the dry stuff to his food, and guess what – he ate all that up!!!  I swear, my dog is as neurologically unwired as my kids!

Why is it that after sex mymind draws a blank and I am left all weird? I know it is a great stress reliever but seriously, this freaks me out! I foret all the things that I have to do sometimes.

I understand that the economy is in the tank and that there are people struggling every where, seriously I do. But if you are in the process of foreclosure, why do you go out and buy a damn new car when you can’t pay the condominium you own. This does not make sense to me.

Well, this as random as my mind is going to get for today. I have too much work to do and I doubt it that I will get to any of it seeing as I have to catch up on my blogs.

Join in the random fun – go visit Keely, show her your randomness, and see the randmoness that is the rest of us crazy folk!



{February 16, 2009}   Are you sure about this?

Okay, today I have been bestowed an award that is one of the best awards any mom can receive – honestly – but I think there might be some mistake.

You see, I got the MOM OF THE YEAR award. Yeah, me! I couldn’t believe it either when Khadra gave it to me. I seriously think she needs to go see a neurologist and make sure that all the nuts and bolts up there are tightened really well.

See, here is the award…

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Well, honestly, I am honored to be recognized as a Mom of the Year. Of course, as with the responsibility of being a mom, there are certain responsibilities that go along with receiving this award. The responsibilities are as follows:

1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom). Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. Remember you are a good mom!

2. Remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be.

Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you.

One thing I feel awful about – hmm…..well, there was that one time…oh wait, that might get me arrested, well then that other time, oh no, that one people might just think I am weird. Oh yeah, one thing I feel awful about is not being able to make it to Princess’s Mother’s Day event last year. She didn’t even fuss about it. Her grandmother went instead and she was all like, “I know mommy, you had to work, it’s okay.”

Seven things I love about my kids, doing with my kids, or kids love about me
1. When they are sleeping!!!! LOL
2. When my kids smile and give me hugs and kisses
3. When they make strides in therapy and at school
4. I love to just lay down and watch tv with them
5. I love getting drawings and projects they made at school
6. I love it when they only want me when they feel sick as if I could make it all go away
7. When they are sleeping!!! Yeah, that one is so huge I had to say it twice

Okay, five other moms that are more than deserving of this award…..(I totally broke this one)

* Kia over at Good Enough Mama; it is her sass and her class that make me realize that I am not the only insane person out there dealing with sensory issues and that it is okay to break down every so often because we cannot do it all, no matter what our kids think.

* Mary Anne over at The Stiletto Mom; if there ever was a mom who could manage to be all kinds of crazy, stylish, maniacle, and still where them heels is a mom of the year in my book

* Heather over at Riding the Short Bus; I have been blessed to call this lady my friend. She is hard on herself but takes the time to sit back and laugh and make sure that those who she loves know it and know it often.

* Jen over at Sprite’s Keeper; one of the first blogs that I ever read and who has shown how wonderful it is just to be a parent of one child. I so totally forgot how that was!! LOL Honestly, she is a great mom who gives of herself to her family like no other.

* Casey over at Half as Good as You; what can I say, she reminds me of who I want to be as a parent when I forget sometimes. She is down to earth and is not about to conform to anyone who wants her to be different.

* Captain Dumbass over at Us & Them; yeah, I know it said moms but you know what, this guy is more of a mom than some moms I know. (Don’t worry Captain, I’m not going to tell them about that cherry emroidered lace apron you wear when you do them cheese people creations) He is the type of guy I think I would be if I were a guy.

*  Irish over at Irish Gumbo – there is nothing to say here except a dad after my own heart. He shows his emotions and is not afraid to show that men can cry and men are more than just testosterone driven beasts. Love ya Irish!

This is not to say that you all are not the best moms and don’t deserve these awards because you do. I’m just not going to require you to do all this manual labor of typing and such.

Love  ya!



{February 13, 2009}   Spin Cycle: Love

Love, a four letter word that can express so much that is felt inside.

An emotion that is meant to show the most beautiful feeling towards other and most precious gift that anybody can give and be lucky enough to receive.

There are many kinds of love, the love of a man and a woman, the love of a parent and child, the love of a friend or companion.

Love makes you feel butterflies in your stomach when you know you are about to see that one person.

Love makes you cry when you see the ones you care for in pain or hurt.

Love makes you smile when your children give you a drawing of squiggly little lines and tell you “That’s you mommy!”

Love is when you sacrifice everything and more so that your family does not go without.

Love is when you put your foot down and risk being called “the most boring mom in the world” because it is not safe to let your son jump from the top of his bunk bed.

Love is when you buy that little outfit your husband saw in the window and wear it to bed even though that darn string is creeping its way where it is not supposed to!!!

Love is when you can just tell that your friend needs a hug and can sit there without saying anything to each other because you know what each other is thinking during the good and the bad times.

Love is knowing when to stop arguing and just take one for the team because you know that just making that certain someone happy is all you really want out of life.

Love is that feeling of overwhelming pleasure and delight when you see your child open his eyes for the first time.

Love is when your heart crumbles but rebuilds itself when you hear unexpected news about the future of your children.

Love is withstanding the blows and the bites and the screams and the tears from your child who cannot tell you what he wants and you have to try and decipher what is going on in his mind when he does not even know it himself.

Love is giving of yourself to others, even though they do not give back.

Love is finding that peaceful moment to yourself and allow yourself to cry and breathe and scream and shout.

Love is so many things to me and to you and to everyone.

Love can build mountains and tread through streams of rough water.

But love is also fragile and delicate and can be easily taken advantage of.

So, remember to show your love to those around you, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.

And remember, I love you too!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!



et cetera