Mommy’s Escape 6.0











{December 9, 2008}   Fuming mad!

Okay, you know that parent’s worst fear of losing their child in a public place and going crazy with wonder and panic as to where they are – well, try having that fear when you drop off your child at his school because they lost him. Well, that is the fear I am going to have every day when I drop off Little Man at his school because guess what…..THEY LOST HIM TODAY!!!!

This is a copy of the e-mail that I wrote to the school today:

This morning I spoke with Ms. B because Little Man wandered in the school this morning into another Kindergarten classroom and she was not aware that he was in the school until the Kindergarten teacher called her to tell her he was in the room.

This morning when I dropped him off through the car pool lane, I saw him walk into the cafeteria as he always does. Apparently nobody noticed that he was there and he walked out of the cafeteria and followed his sister to her class and from there proceeded to the Kindergarten class across from her class and began playing there until Ms. B was called.

As per my conversation with Ms. B, this brings a cause for concern with his safety because nobody was aware that he was there.

As you know, I was dropping him off at the school and walking him into the cafeteria until I was told I couldn’t enter the cafeteria. Then I was walking him to the door and that made transitions difficult for him because he did not want to go with Ms. W and so we decided to go through the car pool lane and have his sister drop him off in the Cafeteria and stay with him which was working fine until Princess was told she could not do that any longer. The latest we attempted was for Princess to walk him to the door which also was fine until today.

I do not know what else we can do in this situation but something needs to be done because his safety is paramount at this time and the fact that nobody noticed him when he walked into the cafeteria is frightening to me especially since this is known to be his drop-off procedure and someone should be watching the door to make sure he, just as any other student from his class, is coming in and is properly escorted to their space.

I hope a convenient arrangement can be found so that we can prevent this or something worse from happening to him.

I mean, this was beyond nice for my standards and I could really ring their necks!!

Shortly after I sent this e-mail, my husband gets a call at home from the ESE Specialist to whom this e-mail was sent, stating that Little Man was screaming that he was leaving the classroom that he no longer wanted to be there and asking if we changed his meds.

THE KID IS ONLY ON A SLEEPING MEDICATION, NOT ONE FOR BEHAVIORS!!!!! I do not know how many times I have to say this to them. The moment they found out he was taking medication, they are basing his behaviors on that. First it was all, he’s doing so well since he is on the medication and now they are thinking we changed the dosage or something because his behavior is erratic.

IT IS PART OF HIS DISABILITY!!! HE CANNOT CONTROL WHAT HE SAYS AND DOES – THAT IS WHY HE IS IN YOUR SCHOOL IN AN EMOTIONAL-BEHAVIOR DISCORDER PROGRAM!!!!

I mean, what else am I going to say to get through to these people!

FUCK!!!!

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Khadra says:

ohhhh the horror. I’m impressed at your restraint. I think I would have been there in person yelling at someone. Awful!!!

I hate the whole medication discussion in general. If they arent on meds someone is telling you they should be. If they are, someone is telling you that it is bad. People need to mind their own damn business and just look after the kids and leave the parenting decisions to us.

GRRRRR!!!!



Girl, I know the county. Same problems 25 years later! Even though you have to bitch and complain, it’s the only way to get things done. Keep biting!!!



pixiemama says:

I hope they get this nightmare resolved immediately. This is so unacceptable. And WTF with the teacher who let Little Man play in her room? For how long? How did she not notice that this kiddo who DIDN’T BELONG THERE was there?

And the conversation about meds? That was a red herring to make it look like YOU were somehow at fault. That’s what really ticks me off.



Cat says:

How frustrating, I would have been furious. Why in the hell did they call your husband instead of responding to you, anyway? So sorry!



Wow. OK. I think we may be having a similar day. What the heck is with them not allowing your daughter to escort him and then why would they call your husband and not you? That is so stupid. The meds thing…they really need to get a clue, I think.

Let us know what happens.



Allinole says:

I am so sorry. That is so scary. I would be fuming as well. This world is not as safe as it was 30 years ago when we were kids.



Drop some Latina on their ass, girlfriend! Scare them! Couple of weeks ago my oldest got left behind at the skating rink. Teacher realized once they were on the bus and she was doing her head count. I don’t blame her though since my monkey has a tendency to always be the last in line and mesmerized by everything other than what he is supposed to be doing. I’m pretty sure she put the fear of god into him afterwards. She scares me too.



Jenni says:

Oh, that is just AWFUL. First, to lose your kid and second to be all, “What’s this kid on?” I mean, come on, they should know how to deal with this situation. It’s what they DO, right?



Keely says:

wtf is their problem with him being escorted? Obviously he needs accomodation for his specific requirements or he wouldn’t be there?

I have friends in similar situations and sadly, the only way to get any cooperation is go all Mama Bear on their asses.



Casey says:

Dude, I would have been so pissed. If they’re not staffed enough to have him escorted to the classroom or cafeteria, you should be able to do it. Period. A few weeks ago, as I was pulling in to pick up Graham from school, he came running toward the parking lot. They have to walk from the playground gate about fifteen feet to enter the building and he bolted and almost ran out in front of MY CAR. I could have run over my own kid that day and I was pissed! You should be too. Fuck. You said it, why can’t I?



Jack says:

The schools seem to be populated by idiots. To clarify, that seems to be all schools. Some people just refuse to think.



Anndi says:

First time visitor by way of the good Captain.

You demonstrated a level of restraint I simply do not possess.

Deflection by using his meds? That’s shameful and low but oh-so common in the system.

Guess she knew you’d go off on her (and rightly so) if she called you. What a coward!

At our school, there’s a before and after school program and they expect a grown up to go in with the child, make sure they are where they’re supposed to be and sign the kids in. Maybe your school should implement something like that for the kids with special needs.

Good luck!



What a frustrating situation. So sorry!



Ack, this is so frustrating. I also agree, your level of restraint was admirable, especially since they tried to throw YOU under the bus in all of this. Keep trying to stay cool and insist on better care.



goodmum says:

I have nothing more to add. I’ll yell “FUCK” with you, though. I’ve done this many times already today. What’s once more?



I’d be mad beyond belief too, especially since my son is what we call our “disappearing boy”… he can be gone in a flash. If I were you I would call and IMMEDIATE IEP meeting and add accommodations for his sister to physically walk him in and hand him off to an ADULT. Don’t take no for an answer! If she attends the same school as he does, there is absolutely no reason that they cannot accommodate this!



colepack says:

I think they want their cake and eat it too. did not make sence but I think you get it. They need to pick a solution and stick too it so he is covered at all times.
I would have been sooo soooo pissed andI am assuming you were/are/is 🙂



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