Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{November 26, 2008}   Oh come on! for real?

I have always been told that I am different but come on am I really that different?

Below are the exhibits – you be the judge and jury:

* My husband says I do not have a sense of humor because I do not laugh at all of the things he laughs at. In my defense, if it is not pee-in-your-pants funny, I rarely laugh!
* I have the worst attitude and shit-face, it’s true. I might be the happiest person in the world but I do not walk around with a smile on my face. My husband hates this about me because he always thinks there is something wrong and when he asks me if there is anything wrong I say no but yet my face still shows the sour-puss look of angst and anger.
* Am I the only female on this earth who has not used a dildo or never found the need for one? (I ask this only because I have seen multiple posts by some blogging friends (The Wise Young Mommy, Motherhood Uncensored; yes I so totally had to single you ladies out of course!) that dildos are commonplace in a woman’s side table drawer. I don’t have a side table with drawers and even if I did, I wouldn’t have anything to occupy it. I don’t see the need for it. HONESTLY! Is this weird?
*I am a mom of 6, nuff said! Actually not ’nuff said. Everywhere I go I get stopped and stared at. At other times I hear people say “Wow! She has 6 kids!” Hello!! I can hear you!!! Take a fucking picture! It will last longer!!
* I am the product of a biker and a banker. You would be shocked to see that my dad has hair longer than mine; looks like a cross between Barry Gibb & Willie Nelson; wears cut off jeans; rides a Harley. Hard to believe – I am just like him!!!! Except if you see me you would think not and I hate that fact because I hate who he is but the roar and rumble of a motorcycle calls to me and the thought of getting inked calls my name!!! (Still waiting to get my own bike until my kids are a bit older though and my tattoos – well, hopefully soon!!!)
* I actually don’t hate my body! I mean, I live in one of the county’s hot spots for plastic surgery and all I see are beautiful people around me and I don’t feel the need to be one of them. Yeah, I have a flat chest and a big ass and a set of watermelons could make me look proportionate but I don’t think I need em. If Hubby wants me to get them, that’s fine with me too but am I chomping at the bits to get them like most women my age? Nope
* I prefer a simple life even though by the way my life is, you would think I am anything but simple!
* I make it a point to change my attitude about, let’s say, 50 times a day but I still get upset very easily and my patience level is almost non-existent. Again, you wouldn’t think it because of how many kids I have.

I think that about sums me up, for now.

I dunno, I guess I am having one of those whacked-out-what the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me days.

Ever had one of those?

Welcome to mine!

Have fun! But don’t stay too long, some of my “weirdness” might rub off on you!


Casey says:

I’m having one of those days over here but I think they’re sick kids with ear infections related. Heh, I’m not going to answer the dildo question… you just take my silence to mean whatever you want.
That’s great that you’re happy with your body, I’m jealous of you for that. I thought I was fat when I was thin and now that I’m not I wish for my not so fat body back!

You’re not so different though and if you are it’s in a good way and it’s why we love you.

My day has been OK, actually! Sorry to hear yours is whack, that’s no fun. Mine was like that yesterday.

It’s not you! I’ve never used a dildo either and I don’t plan on it either. I’m also flat chested, but I have a small ass so it all works. I do smile at almost everything, but that’s just me. I kinda have to take your husband’s side on the sour-puss face. At least give him an up to date weather report, “I am happy, I am just ok, I am actually pissed.” Throw him a bone. We’re men and just assume we’ve done something wrong.

I have plenty of those days! No worries over here! I still love ya no matter how inked, biked, sour pussed face, flat chested J-Lo butted you are! Happy Thanksgiving, Krystal! I’ll be in your neck of the woods tomorrow and throw a shout out as I pass your area on I-75!

Jim @ IPR says:

Maybe your husband just laughs at the wrong things. I’ll take your weird any day.

Krystal says:

Casey – Silence is golden!

Goodfather – I’m outta my rut today. Thanks!!

Captain – I do throw him a bone, and a whole bunch of other things too but he doesn’t get the hint! Glad I’m not alone on the whole no-dildo-flat-chested thing.

Jen – Aww I love you too!!! And I will be expecting that ashout out! When can you take I-95? It’s much closer you won’t have to scream so loud!

Heinous – I agree with you! Thanks for accepting my weirdness any day. You are all sorts of cool!

Khadra says:

you dont sound so weird to me 🙂
Of course, Im not so normal either.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: