Mommy’s Escape 6.0

{November 25, 2008}   unbelievable and unforseen tragedy

Yes folks, I am admitting it here. An unforeseen tragedy has hit my home. I am at an extreme loss and I don’t know what to do.

What happened?

Please brace yourself…

My son, my Sneaky Monkey, my precious little precocious 3 year old…

Has. NO. ASS!!!!!!

Yes, that is right!!!! I don’t know how this could have happened!

I mean you would think that with a Puerto Rican father who was graciously called “bubble Butt” in high school because his rear end is so big and “perky” that it could actually hold drinks steady and a Cuban mom whose rear end has been compared to that of J-Lo in the Selena movies during her high school years the kid would have an ass and a nice one at that but he does not.

No matter what pants or shorts he wears they always fall down, even the elastic waist ones. There is nothing to hold them up!!! Not even the bulk of the diapers help because there is no bulk! There is nothing!!!

When he bends over all you see is the plumbers crack!!!

This is so horrible. All I can do is wonder what his future will hold.

Will he need to wear suspenders? Will he nead an implant?

Oh, the horror!

Casey says:

Ha, I’d gladly donate mine..

Khadra says:

yeah, I can donate some too.
I saw the title and thought, OH NO the sulfa dip killed the turtles.

Im morbid like that LOL!

Hilarious! My husband also suffers from the Noassatall condition, and I’m afraid he’s passed it on to our son!

Krystal says:

Casey – We’ll start tissue sampling when he is about 7 years old, too young for such drastic surgery now.

Khadra – LOL!! Actually, there might not be anythign wrong with them! I saw a pet care site that said they actually do shed their “scutes” but I am trying the treatment anyways. Just to be safe. The shells look nothing like the shells that show the SCUD or Shell rot

Heather – I swear! What is this world coming to when our children do not have asses to bare?

John definitely has a butt, so do I, and Sprite is showing promise. No fears here!

Krystal says:

Jen – sure, why not rub it in?

TOP 10!!!!!

Maybe he’s a late bloomer? At least he won’t be the butt of butt jokes? He’s not the rump of the litter?

OK, that’s all I’ve got. 😉

Oh, J-Lo butt from back in the day, back when she had back… I need a moment…

Sorry, daydreaming. Get him to start doing squats, that’ll plump ’em out.

No ass? Aren’t there support groups you can join? Also, if you’re going to have to live with this, you’re going to have to be more supportive. Perhaps you could just call him gluteal-challenged.

Krystal says:

goodfather – LOL!!

Captain – you sure you’re done daydreaming? Don’t want to interrupt anything! Squats? the kid is as uncoordinated as can be and you want him to do squats?

Jenbo – I will be supportive thanks for reminding me. Gluteal-challenged does sound better than noassatall syndrome. Thanks

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